


Black Mirror

by IceyGemini



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Creepy, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Horror, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other, POV First Person, Possession, Protectiveness, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Under the Influence of Horcruxes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22434919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceyGemini/pseuds/IceyGemini
Summary: I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know I was never alone .…There always were these strange incidents in his life. There always were these weird, disturbingly dreams. But all these mysterious deaths could not be more then terrible accidents, the weird nightmares could not be more than dreams. Could they?
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Horcrux/Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Black Mirror

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know I was never alone .…_

My childhood was not a happy one, I can tell that for sure. But what could be expected when I was living with these people who though my relatives, was very far from accepting me as family? For who I was the black sheep and stain on their otherwise perfectly normal and bright life? Just a freak who they were forced to take into their house and let living with them? Because that was exactly what they saw me like. I knew only darkness of the small cuppboard and pain of both body and heart and loneliness back then, but sadly I always had this hidden hope that one day something would change it. I hoped ... I wished to have friends and loving living family like my cousin had. No ... not like them exactly. Just someone who cared for me, I thought during the many lonely evenings when sitting in my cuppboard or during doing my list of chores which quickly became my daily routine. No miracles. No light. No happiness. Since I could remember, it was like that every day, until the day when something happened and my life was changed for the first time.

It started as any other ordinary day, just this time, my hot tempered uncle wanted me to clean the small garden lake which he and my aunt decided to decorate the back garden with this year. Of course he had to choose the day when it was already pretty cold outside for me to soak myself in the now nearly freezing water full of mud and sticky weed. I tried to protest back then, but as usual, without much success for all I earned was my furious uncle grabbing my wrist painfuly in his much larger meaty hand and dragging me outside towards the unclean pond. For a few terrifying moments, I feared that he was really going to drown me in it and I wished that I was stronger ... I was almost showed into it and firmly told what punishment would await me should I protest further. Then I was left alone ...

Much much later that evening, I was curled inside of my cupboard trembling, trying to make this bitting cold go away, my hands still numb from the freezing water. And like every evening, I wished I could have at least someone who would comfort me. Someone who would care. But I knew that it was just a dream and wish which will probably never become real So I let the darkness and actual dreams claim me …

_The cold and wetness ... Everything dark and blurry like something was clouding the vision... Desperate gasping for breath ... Big and blurry face floating in the cold wetness, adorned by green sticky things ... Then silence and relief …_

When I woke up next day, I was no longer cold but my head ached. What surprised me was the unusual silence welcoming me. No angry punching of my uncle's fists on the door, no stern and annoyed words about laziness from my aunt, not even the heavy footseps of my cousin above my head. At first, I thought that maybe I managed to just wake up earlier. But then I heared voices and sobbing and wailing in the living room, and I knew that something terrible happened. When I peeked into the room, I saw my aunt trembling and the other man in the police uniform talking to her. They soon registered my presence and their eyes were on me. I was not prepaired for what I was told later. I was shocked and I could not believe it when the policeman told me that they found the dead body of my uncle this morning, floating in the not so big pond in our back garden, the same pond he made me clean just just yesterday. Then I was a asked questions. Too many I thought. But I kinda could not give the answers. Then it was over. It was an accident or so we were told. Since that incident, the whole atmosphere in the house changed. Both my aunt and cousin were mostly avoiding me like the plague. They also got me the real bedroom. I was not sure if it was because of the policeman who visited us a few more times. At least, they left me alone, though there was always something cold and hard in their gaze whenever they looked at me. I couldn't name it for a while. They blamed me, I found later. They blamed me just like a many times before whenever something weird and unfortunate happened. It was just unfair, I thought back then. How could I possibly cause something like this? I was just a child. Even after I learned about the wonderful new world of wonders and magic, I knew that I couldn't have to do anything with my uncle's accident. I was just a child …

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know I was always lost..._

As if I had not enough troubles with this whole me participating in that tournament unvillingly, as if had not enough of haunting visions and threats and strange glances. That's what I thought when I saw the news with some new ptotos of me accompanying all these rubbish made up stories that reporter, Rita, wrote about me. Usualy I tried to ignore it, but sometimes it was just too hard and I wished bitterly that there was something or someone which made her just stop, and I was probably not the only one. My friends and even other people were annoyed by her too. So when one day she simply didn t show up, I was just grateful that I didn t have to face her sickly green quill and acidic words for once. I didn't sleep well that night, my head hurt badly the whole day before and after I finally made it to bed and closed my eyes, my mind was played by strange disturbing dreams which made no sense at all. But at least they were no horrifying nightmares or visions . I could remember the glimpses...

_There was quiet humming of some hidden insect surronding me … then the feeling of something crawling under my bare foot, then the crunching sound followed by disgusting feeling on my skin when I stomped hard … the humming getting louder and louder, sounding more like screaming of the dying person … the sickly green surrounding me but not like the curse stealing lifes, just like a reminder of something … then the humming-screaming stopped and was replaced by quiet calmness…_

Soon I forget even the last traces of my previous bizzare dreams, but that was not important so I just happily enjoyed the quiet calm atmosphere while I could. Because that was probably just the calm before the storm. Later I could hear courious whispers every now and then, almost like the quiet humming ... 

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know I will never be forgiven …_

Me and Ron, though having some dificulties and small conflicts , like every other people, were best friends since the start of my new life in the wold of wonders called the magic. He was my first real friend, or at least first one I knew about back then. That's why his betrayal hurt me so much. That's why when he, blinded by jealousy, turned on me during this damn tournament, when my supposed closest person was yelling at me, accusing and then ignoring me, I felt so angry and betrayed and abandoned. Wishing him to stop and just stut up. Wanting to punch him violently in the face as the fiery anger got better out of me. Wishing him to realize his wrong. And then I was so lonely and the sadness turned into bitternes and the bitterness into sadness. I went to bed with something cold inside of my stomach and with my head hurting like there was someone knocking on the inside of my skull, yet different then when i was haunted by the strange visions of him. Even my dreams were uneasy and reckless, confusing images but not the one of death and green for which i was greatful for.

_Fire … vicious flames … red and orange and glowing yellow everywhere … scorching heat melting flesh like it was a paper and eating it away … fiery hair surrounded by flames like it nsturaly belonged together … the sickly sweet smell … the vicious roaring of the beasts … then the darkness …_

Despite my uneasy sleep, exhaustion which s _o_ mehow still lingered in me even the next day asi well as the slight remains of previous headache , I made it through the whole night without waking up even for once.

When the morning came and I emerged from my bed I was surprised and confused by my other friend standing there shaking and panting like she was running for her life with tears filling her eyes and gazing at me with pain and sorrow and then throwing herself at me. Something was so very very wrong. I froze in the mid of my motion, silently asking her what happened why the others were watching with fear and panic and my word went blurry. I still could not believe her words. I still could not fanhom what happened. I could just not believe it. My best frind was dead, gone forever and the whole school was shocked. I, felt the strange numbness when she was telling me what happened, about his terrible accident in the forrest. The following days were strange and busy. They were discussing the cancelling of the tournament. I somehow wondered that there were no rubbish great storries about the incident from the certain reporter, but somehow she still was missing. I was kinda surprised to notice these simple things in the situation like this. I should grieve and rage fiercely and forget the whole world around me. My only thoughts about how could I save him or why I was not able to ... Nothing else. But instead, I felt numb and somehow detached and it was weird. As if something was holding me back, protecting me from breaking into pieces. 

Sometimes I thought that maybe it s something wrong with me. I told my other friend once. She went silent for a while,considering, and then said that maybe it s probably by the shock, or, when even later I was still like this, just another way how to cope with the loss of the close people. I believed her or at least I tried to. The part of me still doubted somehow. Sometimes, I was thinking about the incident and was bitterly wondering if Ron went mad or something. Who in their right mind would walk stright in front of the raging dragon?

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know that the abyss was always staring into me …_

My fifth year turned much worse then I thought and it was not by the hand of my mortal enemy. As if almost escaping the cold kiss worse then death was not enough, I thought while holding my burning and aching hand, a few last drops of blood escaping from the tiny wounds now probably forever engraved into my skin while I was watching the cruel pink toad who unfortunately became our newest profesor, the corners of her lips turned slightly up in that disgusting only semingly innocent and sweet smile. Rage was boiling inside me so strongly that it was a miracles that I didn't lash out on her during one of her unfair detentions. Maybe it was just what my friend called "unbilievingly stubborn" if she knew. But I did not tell her. I did not tell anyone. It would be useless. And I couldn't let the pink toad know that she got me. I refused to give her this satisfaction. So I managed to keep quiet, silently imagining her in my place and ten time worse. But I endured many evenings of this already and my hand burned like it was on fire. Fortunately, I managed to sneak back into the common room and then into my bed without anyone noticing. I did not want to explain. I did not want to talk. I just wanted to fall into bed and sleep. Hell, I even would not mind having the nightmares or strange vision like dreams now. I didn't know how long it took until the welcomed oblivion finally overcame the rage and pain and I finally fell asleep. 

_Sharp razors ... red mixing and mingling with pink ... cutting into it in the delicate elegant patterns of punishing words ... red and pink entwined together like they always belonged this way ... then the delightful feeling of satisfaction …_

I woke up with my hand aching slightly but I barely noticed it because of burning pain lingering in my hand. Yeah, the yesterday was really rough, I thought bitterly. Maybe, if I will be so incredibly lucky, she finally decides that that was enough and just let me go. Too naive probably, but well, one can still hope. I went through my day like usually, hidding my now probably permanent wound. Nothing strange or weird happen, it was almost like that calm before the storm. When the evening came and I walked to pink toad's nest for another hours of my detention, I was surprised when another professors were there, immediately leading me away. I tried to ask, what happened, but they were quiet and then I was greatful that the my detention really seemed to end today, even if I didn't know why. Later, we were told that our new professor had an unfortunate accident. To be honnest, not many were so overly sad. Almost all actualy hated her. Nor they were so surprised. After all, it was the common knowledge that this teaching positon was cursed. This time, unlike the last two years, I almost wanted to thank to whoever was responsible for this mysterious curse. They never told us what exactly happened and I found out that I didn't really mind. Yesterday, I was curious, because nobody from the school had ever seen her since then, but the largest part of me was just greatful that she was gone. If they told us back then, maybe I would wonder much sooner. But they decided to keep quiet. They never told us about how they found the horribly mutilated body lying on the floor of her cabinnet. They never told us about the crimson engraved into pink. They never told about the lines and words carved so deeply into her skin and flesh, over her chest, into her arms and legs, on her toad like face, the very same words which were now forever engraved into mine own hand. The words she was displaying so openly while I kept them hidden.

_"I must not tell lies"_

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know I was always capable to embrace the darkness…_

Her mockery was like the burning poison in my ears as I was desperately chasing the damned woman who just took my only family from me, sending him behind the cold veil of the death, and with him, also my last chance for normal and happy life. Hot tears which I was unable to stop were now blurring my vision but my whole being was focused only on her dark silouhete the few steps before me, my lungs burning, my legs aching and heavy and my head in searing pain. She won't escape like that. She have to pay! No matter what! That were my only thouhts when I rised my hand and screamed the forbidden word chanelling that tainted power which should bring her agony. She screamed and fell, but then she towered above me again, dark eyes sparkling with crazy cruelty, lips twiching in mocking smirk and a acidic words stabbing me like sharp daggers as she was mocking my another utter failure. 

"You have to mean it ..." she said.

"I will show if you want .... I will give you the lesson …"

And I knew perfectly what lesson it would be. But this time, exhaustion and pain and the cold emtiness of sorrow were faster and everything went dark...

_"You have to mean it ..."_

_These words are ... cold ... alluring ... enlightening ..._

_"I show you ..."_ _The overhelming powerful presence guiding me so firmly and gently ..._

_"I give you the lesson ..."_

_"We give her the lesson ..."_

_Lips whispering the forbidden word so sweetly as if it was the confession of love ... The overhelming surge of power ..._

_The body in dark robe twiching in the endless agony ... The delight of it all_

_The horror in these cruel eyes ... trembling lips murmuring some incoherrent words ..._

_"I definitely mean it ..."_

_Another surge of power ... another wave of agony ... together repeated again and again mercilessly, until the last traces of her sanity are gone ... until there is nothing left …_

I heard the soft voices, and there was hand supporting me. I weakly opened my eyes, find finding myself lying on the ruined floor surrounded by my friends and many other people, their eyes concerned and their faces grim. But now it was over. I was told that they found me uncouscious in this entrace hall. Acording to others, he had at some point show up but disappear before anyone could see him, probably not wanted to be seen. That didn't made any sense to me. If he was there when I was this helpless, this vulnerable, how I could be still alive? And that was not all. They found and arrested the damned woman, his most loyal servant as she proudly announced just shortly before darkness took me. I thought that she escaped. I couldn't be more wrong. They told me that even without any guards, she now cannot cause harm to anyone.

Later, when I was back in the safety of my bed, I was thinking about all events again and while I was not feel sorry for the witch who destroyed so many lives and people, I wondered about how much she had to dissapoint and fail him to be punished like this, being tormented by her own favourite curse, be bathed in the searing pain and agony so much that her already crazy mind was now completly destroyed, broken beyond any repair, the very same fate she inflicted on the parents of one of my friends. How ironic, I thought while my own aching cold emptiness was still consumming me. One small part of me regreted that I was not able to see it, that I was not able to do it ... No, I should not want to have it in me. I am not like her. I am not like him. But even telling that to myself couldn't help me ease this mess inside me. Time did it later,though never completly. I was haunted by new nightmares and guilt which nothing could ease. If I only was not so reckless. If I wait just a little. If I did not believe the treachrous words of the sickly bitter creature who despited it's master so much that he gladly helped to arange the events leading to his downfall.

In the end of the summer, I was told that I inherited my godfather's house, unfortunately together with his grumpy house elf. I didn't want to see that cranky creature again, but I obviously asked too much, because I had to call him to make sure that I'm his only master and that he will not spill the secrets he learned. I agreed in the end, but it seemed he did not respond. Probably serving another, I thought bitterly. But when we later checked the house, we found the old elf dead. Probably because of the old age, I thought. He already looked like he was barely alive after all. Though I still felt that sharp stjng of betrayal, I felt no pleasure nor satisfaction after learning the news. I did not like him but ... I did not wish the old miserable elf to die. Oh, I should know better …

The start next school year was mostly pretty normal, more or less. I discovered the surprised mysterious friend who's advices and tricks made me champion of the potions, much to disapprove of my friend who couldn't accept that not alwas the best way is strictly follow the rules and official instructions. She firmly called such experimenting reckless. Unresponsible. Dangerous. Once she even said that I could end up like one of my classmates, who somehow accidentaly poisoned herself and was found too late. For some reason, mentioning her name ignited something cold and bitter in my stomach and I could not phantom why... 

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know that the darkness is both destroying and cherish me…_

He was up to something. I knew it. I Just knew. But I have no proof and so noone believed me. And it was so frustrating! I knew I was right! The way he behaved since the start of this year. These incident with cursed necklace and from what I heard also the poisoned wine. Maybe he was also responsible for the poisoning of that girl, Romilda was her name. The more I thought about, the more I condidered it true.Yes, it had to be him. I had to do something. Find the proof. Catch him. Stop him! But he always found his way away and my friend told that I was becomming too obsessed by this and that I am the knew who should stop. We argued about it a lot. And it was frustrating to no end. Why shy was so blind! Why! I spent more and more evenings alone, with only my thoughts and the book which quickly became like my new friend. One such evening, when I could not sleep again, I was lying in my bed, the book opened in frond of m and thinking that maybe I could sneak away but then something cought my eyes on the corner of the book page. The unknown word written by that too familiar handwriting, with small note which sent shivers down my spine – for enemies. I wondered many times about the nature of the mysterious owner of the book. My friend told they are suspicous, could be even dangerous … I wanted to know more but then the heavy tirednes finally caught me, and it was like something or someone would instantly sucked all of my life energy out of me. The previous weeks were restless and exhausting so I thought nothing unusual about my current state. I'll look at it more next time, I thought briefly before the dark arms of sleep took me.

_The sniffing sounds … pale face … glowing halo of platinum hair … the mix of dread, desperation and anger morroring in the cold eyes … the unknown word … for the enemy … the body bumping on the wet sticky floor … the white being painted with red … the frantic shallow breathing … chocking sounds … red spreading and spreading … oozing from the deep gashes … dripping and dripping … crimson mixing with the water, creating beautiful patterns and spreading … the shallow breaths weakening … the cold grey eyes becomming blurry, clouded and unliving … all sounds signaling the life disappearing into the silence … the wet sticky feeling surrounding me … some distant wailing … wailing turning into screaming which pierces my ears..._

„ **Murder in the bathroom!“**

I woke up from the nightmare, only to find the nightmare somehow found it s way into the waking world in form of the pale blond boy lying motionlessly on the wet sticky floor, the same cold flow which I was lyng on just a few moments before! I didn t remember how I got here, but I perfectly remembered the dream, or what I thought that was a dream … But it was so terribly real … his lifeless face … the screaming ghost, the dark echoes of the curse still lingering in my mind. This was what it was doing ... People comming here with scared and confused experessions … It was too much! I could not wait there any more! I ran and ran, ignoring everything, ignoring the questions, running away and away until I was alone. My head was in pain, the familiar pain, though it was somehow dulled. My heart was beating rapidly. The images of the pale boy still haunting my vision. His skin losin all it's colour. His eyes dull and lifeless. And then, his face turned into another one, the woman with long dark curls nad craziness and suffering lurking in her equally dark eyes. Still twitching from the agony brought to her. And then she was gone too, and another faces replaced hers,one by one, all unmoving and dead, all of them familiar.

These incidents … these accidents …they were always happening around me like there was something dark lurking in me. Hoc could I not notice? How could I be so blind?

That was when you spoke to me the for the first time. Your voice so cold and alluring. Your words so freezing and hypnotizing. Your presence so overhelming. That was when I learned that sometimes dreams are real. That way when I learned that I was never truly alone. That was when I remembered …

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I know I have to join it soon…_

I know now that you did all of this for me. Deep in my heart, I know that that's how you show you were always here for me. Even when I was not aware of your presence, you were there for me. Protecting and defending me in your own twisted way, the only way you could. Getting rid of those who wronged me. Punishing those who hurt me. And somewhere deep the darkest path of my heart, I even somehow agree with you and I can admit that some of them deserved what you did to them, what we did to them. Some part of me still feels this sinful sense of delight and rejoice when remembering the crimson oozing words written over the whole face and body of the disgusting pink menace so deep into the skin and flesh of hers that unlike mine they will never disappear , at the agony and pain of the now insanely crazy woman who stole away what was left of my family with cruel smile on her lips and whose body was so tormented by your will and my hand that now her mind is beyond any chance of repair, or even the bloated, chocking face of the man who turned my childhood life into world of fear and despair and who was rewarded by muddy stinky water filling his lungs why desperately gasping for air and his skin turning purple. And I know I can admit this freely to you, because even if the whole world would turn away in disgust and fear, you would always understand…

But you would not stop at this. You did not. And I would always give in. I would always allow you to take over and charge. You would end up hurting and killing anyone by my hand, anyone who dared to cross us in one way or other, no matter how much they really deserved. Like the foolishly enamoured girl who's only crime was to unsuccessfully try to steal my atention by the very same potion which was how you came into this world. Like the stupid boy who had to bear the punishment for the failures of his father. Like the miserable old creature. Like my first friend ...

How long would it take until you turn again on the innocent, the people I care for? How much would it take? A few words? One wrong gaze? They stand in our way? In the end, we would end up destroying the lifes of all around us. We would become fear. We would become unstopable. Great and terrible. And I can't allow it to happen. Maybe they would find some way how to set me free from you. How to separate your cursed soul from mine and send you in into the abyss, so I could live again without your all consumming darkness embracing me in its firm but oddly soothing iron grip. And i can't allow it to happen. You were with me through almost all my life, like my curse and my blessing. There is only one way out for us...

_I am standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, your soul firmly embracing my own, staring into the endless abyss outside while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and I take just one more step._

Ignoring the rising aching in my head as you are trying to take control and lead us back back to safety. My lips are trembling and the cold tears leave my eyes the first time. I can feel your fear and panic which I already know so well and which tears me from inside. I am trying to sooth and calm you. We will end this like we began. Together. I briefly think about your other half who is out there, soon to be more mortal while we would be gone and I wonder if there is a chance that he knew…

My body is flying away from the top of Astronomy Tower, my soul firmly embracing your own, falling into the endless abyss below while the fierce storm is raging both around me and in me and soon we will know no more...

**Author's Note:**

> I got this weird idea when I was playing the adventure game which I named this fic after (sometimes I am just bad with creating names). Also what happened with Vernon in the begining as well as Harry's action in the end was strongly inspired by that adventure game:D


End file.
